My Beach Front Condo at The Jersey Shore

Beach Front Condo

Do you wish you had a beach house you could escape to from the monotony of your daily life and sweltering city heat during the summer? I do but I don’t. Do you belong to a swim club where your kids can spend the entire day getting exhausted swimming, going to the snack bar, run, wrestle and yell with complete abandon outdoors while you leave them there for the whole day and pick them up for dinner? I don’t AND they go to “Camp Mom.” Are you stuck driving day trips to the beach with your kids while they argue about who sits up front and you have to listen to “are we there yet” over and over, then spend the day praying that the dark cloud overhead goes away and then drive back home with yourself and sandy kids? I am and I do. These questions make me hot, sticky and ready to go body surf in the cool ocean, then float on my back over the relaxing swells of the sea with my ears submerged under water to block out any and all sounds that send me into mental states of annoyance, and that’s a civilized word. My reality is I sit here in my home with my broken central air conditioner, and kids, AND IT’S HOT! Hot as HADES!

Instead of feeling sorry for myself and resenting all the Range Rovers and Jeeps packed every week with families going to vacation at the shore for a week, or two… I’ve decided to live in the solution. Let me introduce you to my Wonder Wheelie! This is my beachfront condo and I love it!! This is not my first Wonder Wheelie, I bought one in 1998 so I’ve had one for the last 13 years. Unfortunately that one, “the” original, was getting old, things were breaking down and the maintenance was too much for me to handle. So with tears in my eyes and fond memories in my heart I had to move on. Moving is a very emotional time, my children were raised with that faithful beach companion. That was our beach home away from home. So many memories were created together trudging over miles of sand, it was a nice size, met all our needs and I sure did get my money’s worth. This year it passed away to the great beach in the sky. My kids and I had a private viewing followed by a quiet push curbside for the Philadelphia Sanitation Hearse to take it away on a mild Thursday morning in March. Knowing my Wonder Wheelie so well, I knew that it would want me to get a new one, also knowing that it could never be replaced.

With a heavy heart and a tinge of excitement, I invested in a new one. Because of the economy I had to down size to a smaller version. It is a bit of a challenge to make the massive haul of necessary beach equipage, that is the towels, boogie boards, cooler, beach toys, changes of clothes, food bags, umbrella, books and lotions because I am a beach landscaper. I command a large territory of land. I anticipate all needs from water and towels left in the car for the splash down prior to departure, to the talcum powder that gets the sand off. (I bet you didn’t know that trick, I have many). Every summer I add onto my beach paraphernalia. Last year was this nifty umbrella table with four cup holders for sodas, skittles, shells and sticky ice cream sticks. This year I bought a very hip frisbee from “BeachBum”, see I am very cool, and yes I boogie board in a bikini to the horror of my teenage son.

I didn’t realize the luxury in size I had with my first Wonder Wheelie until it was gone, like most things taken for granted, but the season just started and I’m sure that we will all settle into our routine within the first few weeks. We will get familiar with what goes where, how to clean it quickly and most importantly how to arrange our beach chairs. The summer of 2012 has begun and the hard work of shlepping my condo has commenced. My Wonder Wheelie is more than a cart, it is a valuable purchase, a most loyal friend and co-parent of all things Jersey shore. It makes my life easier, it affords me beach front property and I don’t have to pay any taxes, just a seasonal beach tag, gas and tolls. I love the Jersey Shore so whatever it takes transport my mind, body, kids and soul to a vacation if just for a day, is worth all the effort. It’s a labor of love and it’s day tripping heaven for me and my tribe all summer long. Next year I will buy an EZ Pass, we go that often. See you on the beach. FYI, we don’t play a radio.

An American Flag is always planted in the sand on our lot.






I am a writer, poet, humorist, screenwriter, blogger. I am not a label. Out of tragedy comes comedy. I see hysterical in the simple. This is my head. I live an extraordinary ordinary life. I am inspired, creative, passionate and fiery. I have been through and will continue. I will put it down and hope you pick it up. I am exposed, vulnerable, honest and authentic. I am sarcastic and witty. My favorite thing to do is watch life and laugh and cry and start over again. I invite you to laugh, release and lighten up with me. When life has kicked your butt, it's all about the comedy! Comedy fuels me, poetry soothes me, and dancing ignites...

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