“Acting should be bigger than life. Scripts should be bigger than life. It should all be bigger than life”. Bette Davis
Over the previous holiday season, like everyone else, I spent a lot of time in my car driving from here and there to buy this and that. One day I decided to listen to the radio. The song “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” came on. A nice little toe tapper, but not on the gas because I learned the car behind me had no rhythm and certainly no holiday cheer.
I enjoy Christmas and New Years but for me, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” because it’s award season. Yes! It’s the High Holy days in Hollywood!! If your like me, an avid lover of movies, movie stars and all things chic, the month of January and February are chock full of spa days, plastic surgeon appointments, dates with my treadmill and dieting IE. starvation. If you don’t have the self discipline to not eat, Hollywood insiders suggest eating baby food. I like the applesauce. I have top secret strategy meetings with my team of stylists, hair dressers and make up artists. They prepare me for glamour filled nights of parties, day luncheons and black tie balls. My entourage and I then fly to the Coast, where I walk the red carpets while they sit in their hotel rooms congratulating each other on how fabulous I look. And skinny.
STOP, cut, edit, and reshoot to reality. The camera pans in to see me sitting on my couch alone in my elegant pj’s with my predictions in one hand and my twitter account on full throttle, eating popcorn and yelling at my kids to go fight up stairs because “I’M TRYING TO WATCH THE SHOW”! And of course I have false eye lashes on darlings.
The months of January and February air 15 award shows of significance. January and February are the months for all things MOVIES. Therefore, the frowned upon, television step child award show, the Emmys, is not even shown in the same season, they aired in September.
Now let’s begin. On December 15th, 2011, the nominations for the Golden Globe Awards were announced. This takes place so that we can now strategically plan what movies we want to see and where we financially want to invest our money. Preparation is very expensive and I personally have a savings fund for this time of year like some people save for their vacations or children’s college tuition.
First up is “We The People” also know this year as The 38th annual People’s Choice Awards. They air on January 11th. I don’t vote and don’t know anyone else that does however, it is a clever campaign by the studios to let the average folks, who make them rich, feel empowered and entice us to go see the winners of that show. Cunning right? I fall for it every year. The next big show comes right on it’s tail. The 69th Golden Globe Awards or pre-Oscars as I think of them. Most of the winners at the Golden Globes get nominated for the Oscars. This is a great show because everyone drinks a lot and pretend they don’t care if they won. Air kiss, Air kiss. In the ensuing weeks prior to Oscar, cat fights occur over couture gowns and getting advertising in Variety is survival of the fittest. The fittest get a full page. Then come the Indies’s, Director’s Guild and Critics Choice Awards, which I’m sure all have numbers that precede their titles as well but only the die hards watch those. I prefer the 76ers games instead.
Finally after weeks of anticipation, hollywood campaigns, celebrities hitting the town for photo ops and doing the interview circuits, it’s the night I’ve been waiting for. On February 26, 2012 The 84th Academy Awards Ceremony will be broadcast! Or The Oscars as we know them. The flash of the cameras, the bedazzle of the gowns, the walk and pose, walk and pose down the red carpet and then finally the show begins. Oh the anticipation. It’s more exciting than discovering that the sales lady at Nordstrom’s forgot to ring up my Christian Louboutin pumps while I’m walking out the door!
I’ve done my homework. I have gone to as many movies as I could afford, always viewing, (not seeing), most of the films, (not movies), of the nominees for Best Picture, Actor, Actress and Director. I like the documentaries too. I have watched the styling shows, read the magazines and have picked and filled out my prediction card. For the next three and a half hours, I sit on my couch watch, listen and applaud as the winners names are announced. I watch the victors walk to the stage, get emotional, both them and I, receive the statute of the golden Oscar and proclaim their rehearsed acceptance speeches. I won, I won, I picked that movie, I knew she would win!
Oh the elation, euphoria and ecstasy!! For this night, for these few hours, I have emotionally and financially invested time and energy, I have sacrificed spending time with my children and not one minute of it was wasted because I got to escapemy life for the last two months, into cool dark theaters being captivated by the movie stars on the big screen, and slip into the world of the pageantry, grandeur and splendor of tinseltown. Where stars are born, I mean made. An epic journey had, 10 more months to go until next season, and I go on with my show. See you in car line!