HOW MUCH WOOD WOULD A WOODCHUCK CHUCK… Three Times Less Than Me

It's all about the attitude!

It’s all about the attitude!

Fall is here. It’s getting brisk. The air is crisp and in the evening you can smell chimney fires burning. Oh so Charles Dickens like. I have a fireplace. I’m addicted to it. It’s pretty and smells good. Last year was my first winter in my home. I bought a bundle of wood at a time from Kilian Hardware store. I learned it’s not cheap buying wood a bundle at a time.

After observing the stacks of wood my neighbors keep, fantasizing how I would to steal a log or two when I was out but didn’t, I decided I would be fireplace savvy this year. I asked where they get their wood and decided I would get my wood delivered in bulk. No more hauling bundles of wood on my back for blocks. Ohhhh the luxury, delivery.

I got the name of a firewood company and looked them up. Not knowing ANYTHING, I contacted my wood connoisseur mentor and asked if the price was good. She said yes. I called the company and put in an order. How much wood? My friend gets a cord so I ordered one too. I couldn’t afford it but I can’t afford my gas bill either. A log of wood doesn’t give you a bill at the end of the month, That’s worth the financial strain. Being prudent I asked the owner if they would cut a deal with me. If I had two deliveries on the same day delivered to myself and “sans” friend would they give me a discount. They said yes! Happy me, they came down $80 on the cost of wood and waived one delivery charge. Then I was asked if I wanted to have the wood stacked for $35. Stacked, like piled up? “No I can do that myself” and save the money.

It’s delivery day, here comes this very wide monster dump truck. My neighbor’s driveway runs along the side of my backyard. After trying to back this mammoth sized beast in several times, slightly scraping my house, it squeezed in. Next thing I know up goes the back and a thunderous sound of dropping wood permeates the air, and I stand alone. I pay and off they go. NOW, it’s me and a mountain of wood. That’s normal right?

I open my gate and begin stacking wood. About a half hour in, I’m still surrounded by a sea of wood. This was terrible. I couldn’t leave it, it was my neighbor’s driveway who I didn’t ask if I could use and was out at the time. Literally paralyzed with defeatist thinking I’m ready to give up when I hear the welcome sound of my son’s school bus drop him off. Help!

Help was my 12-year-old son. I’m sweaty, I’m exhausted and I’m cranky. Here he comes bopping down the drive. “Hi Mom, what’cha doing?” Honey, I need your help. We have to get all this wood in the backyard. He resounds “OK”, runs off, changes and comes back. Minutes later his two neighbor friends come running up. “Hey boys, you wanna make some money?” YEA! “Go get changed and help us stack this wood”. They run off and back they come lickety split. Now I have a little work force. Myself, a 13-year-old and two 12-year-old boys stacking a very heavy cord of wood.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I had no idea and I didn’t know what a cord of wood was either. Here’s what I learned it the hard way.

A woodchuck could (and does) chuck around 35 cubic feet of dirt digging a burrow, an amount equivalent to the weight of the dirt, or 700 lbs. Here is a 32 second video of Wendy the Woodchuck go to Munch Cam from the Museum of Life and Science: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=eBcVLDJvLXI. All that chucking made Wendy hungry!

What is chucking? Chuck- verb: to toss; throw a short distance. Humans call it stacking. My three woodchucks did start chucking the logs towards the end to get them closer to the pile. Animal instincts.

Now how much does a cord of fire wood weigh? A cord of wood is 4 feet by 4 feet by 8 feet and equals 128 cubic feet. The weight of a cord of wood depends on the wood. It will vary in weight from 2000 to 4000 lbs.

Back to work, an hour passes and I’m feeling guilty, this is hard work! I say “it’s OK James, why don’t you go play, I can do this. “No Mom, No Ms. G., we’re staying to the end”. I couldn’t believe it! They were working hard, knew I gave them a pass to leave with pay and they stayed. The best part was their attitudes. THEY WERE HAPPY WORKING THE WHOLE TIME!

Finally we finished the job. We chucked three times more wood than a woodchuck could and does! I’ve done a lot of physical labor, moving rocks, landscaping and shoveling just to name a few but this one was painful. I went to get money. I felt so bad for those boys, who didn’t feel bad at all considering they were playing with the wood. I handed them each a $10. “That’s OK Ms. G, you don’t have to pay us”. My eyes welled up with tears. I couldn’t believe it. With great concern and worry on their little faces they ask “what’s wrong?” What’s wrong, what’s right?! I was dumbfounded, I literally grabbed all three of them and started hugging them and laughing. Then I paid them, the same amount as the company charges.

Here is the beauty of kids that cranky adults like myself can learn from. These boys were having a blast. Actually it’s “these” kids in-particular. I’ve watched these three boys play like kids should all summer. Running around, jumping on a trampoline, shooting basketballs and just being kids, salt of the earth.

That night I was too tired to light a fire. The lesson those boys taught me, I’d happily pay more than $35. Next year, I’m going to have the company do it. This year I was given a precious lesson about attitude. I’m better for the experience and the memory warms my heart more than a cord of wood could.

About

I am a writer, poet, humorist, screenwriter, blogger. I am not a label. Out of tragedy comes comedy. I see hysterical in the simple. This is my head. I live an extraordinary ordinary life. I am inspired, creative, passionate and fiery. I have been through and will continue. I will put it down and hope you pick it up. I am exposed, vulnerable, honest and authentic. I am sarcastic and witty. My favorite thing to do is watch life and laugh and cry and start over again. I invite you to laugh, release and lighten up with me. When life has kicked your butt, it's all about the comedy! Comedy fuels me, poetry soothes me, and dancing ignites...

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